I haven't stopped blogging. I've just been doing it privately. But I figured I would let you all know that I'm not actively seeking pregnancy. I'm doing other things like training for a 5k. I'm okay with being a new mom at 27 or 28 and not 26. I still like that it's just me and Steve.

I have spent the last few years feeling like a failure. I dropped out of college and I've only ever worked in retail. I gained too much weight, I spend too much time indoors and now I'm unemployed with my only responsibilities being housework and feeding my husband and I, and maybe entertaining the cat once in awhile. Let's be honest, cats barely need a glance in their direction to be content. But I'm starting to not care about how other people see me. It wasn't that long ago that it was perfectly okay for a wife not to work. Sure, we don't have money for trips around the world, or even the U.S. and our home is poorly decorated and we still wear clothes that we bought a few years ago, but we don't need more than what we have.

Our bills are paid, we have food in our kitchen and a roof over our heads in a safe place. We're together. We're happy. That's what matters.

Volunteering

Steve is thinking about volunteering for a deployment. It's a lot of extra tax free money if he goes. We could pay off our smaller loan completely and either put a big dent in our car loan, or actually build up some savings.

I don't want him to go though. It's super hard when he is gone. I think it will be even more so because he won't be tucked safely inside the US somewhere. I don't have a job to distract me this time either.

I did tell him that whatever he decides, I'll support him and do my best not to complain. It is 100% his decision because it is his life, his safety and he has to actually go through it.

I'd feel guilty asking him to stay if he really wants to go. It's not just about the money, he wants to serve his country.

I'd feel guilty pushing him to go, too. If something happened to him because we wanted more money, I couldn't deal with that. It's different when they make you go on your turn versus choosing to go.

I don't know what my point is... those are just my thoughts.

You Can't Have Both

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago to talk about my health and I also told her we had just started trying to conceive.

She stopped what she was doing, looked at me and flat out told me I can't have both. I need to focus on one or the other.

So, we are no longer trying. We will start again in the fall. Finances are tight right now until we can get our car loan transferred to our own bank in February and then I want to focus on getting a few smaller debts paid off this year while building up our savings. I think my doctor visit was perfect timing. I'm glad she was so upfront about it, too.

I'm still not taking the methotrexate pills for my psoriasis, and I'm not on any hormonal birth control either. I figure I can let my body get back to normal in the meantime. 

Jasmine: Stage 3

She has moved onto stage 3.

The center of the toilet cover contraption has a hole in it.

I put her up there and she looked in the hole and down at the water for a good 3 or 4 more minutes before looking and sniffing around. She jumped down. I put her up again and she peed for me. She made me laugh so much though. When it first hit the water she was startled quite a bit by the sound. The next 2 times as well.

Her training is going well though and I'm so excited! Her litter box is now a thing of the past!

Jasmine's new trick

So I've got some exciting news...

Jasmine is learning to use the toilet.

Hahahah

Yeah, I get it. Funny. I laughed, too. :) But it's actually working! She's only on the 2nd stage, but she's graduating to stage 3 on Wednesday.

Stage 1 was getting her to go on the seat contraption (on the floor). She's used to a deeper litter box and being able to bury her business.

Stage 2 is putting the contraption on the toilet and training her to jump up. It's fully solid and still uses litter. (The flushable kind)

Stage 3 has a small hole to get her used to balancing around the center and her business going in the water. And you slowly lessen the amount of litter.

Stage 4 has just a little bit of litter and a bigger hole to really balance her.

Stage 5 has no inner ring and she learns to balance on the seat itself. 

I'll let you know when she passes stage 3.

She is being trained on our spare bathroom toilet, no we are not sharing with her. And no, we are not training her how to flush haha.

Girl Meets World

Ben Savage announced on Monday that it's official.

For those of you following my medical issues... I'm not broken anymore

Hello monthly gift.

This also means that I won't be starting birth control next month since my body is fixing itself. Hooray!

Although, I have decided if I'm not pregnant before August 2013, I will put it on hold until December 2013. Traveling around the end of a pregnancy is a bad idea, and my sister graduates in June of 2014.

Thanksgiving Fun

I left Wednesday, hit some traffic but got to my parents in 4 hours 15 minutes.

We ran to the mall to say hi to my sister at Forever 21, then hung out at the house while daddy made cornbread and chili.

Thursday, my parents made dinner. My grandma came over at 1. My aunt and her boyfriend at 4 and we ate at 430. We had turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, broccoli salad, sweet potatoes, and I think that's it. It was DELICIOUS!

After dinner, Abigail and I went to see Breaking Dawn and it really was the best one! Surprise ending and all!

Friday, we went to a nearby park. Abigail and I walked around and our parents ran. Then we went to the mall for a few hours before Abigail had to work. Daddy and I played on the Wii before going back to the mall to get Abigail.

Saturday, we went to Christmas Town at Busch Gardens. It was super cold so only a handful of actual rides were open. But I really just wanted to walk around and look at the pretty lights anyway. We saw 2 of their musical shows, drank hot chocolate, had toasted, sweetened pecans and almonds and had dinner. We rode the train around the park to see different lights. We walked through most of the areas and one of them had a snow machine. Haha. You know you're in the south when you run into a snow machine. We went on the sky ride and saw more lights. It was a lot of fun. We froze. We sang Christmas songs. Then we froze some more.

 Santa's workshop. Santa was inside taking pictures with babies and such

This tree changed colors and lit up different areas every half hour to music.

One of the musical shows

This is the Pompeii Ride. They drained the water for winter, and covered it with lights. Those purple trees are 6 feet tall so you can get an idea of how many lights this really is. 

That stupid petition to secede

I have a dilemma. One of Steve's sergeants was bragging about signing that petition. He is in the US Air Force. He wants to leave the US and his commander-in-chief, President Obama. I feel like signing that petition is abandonment of country which is punishable. I feel like any member of the military in any of the branches that signs the petition to leave the US should be kicked out immediately.

I really don't know if it's that big of a deal. I don't know if it should be considered abandonment of country. I just personally feel like it is.

Honestly, I don't want someone who wants to leave the US to be my husband's wingman in a war zone. I feel like that person has no loyalty to his country, how can I expect him to have loyalty to my husband who is fighting wholeheartedly for his country?

Thoughts?

Our 2012 Christmas Card

Merry Little Tree Christmas

Create beautiful photo Christmas cards at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Thanksgiving is next week so I thought I should get them ordered now. 

I love personal photo cards over boxed cards, even if they do cost 

a little more. :)

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CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Happy Veterans Day

I've always felt this way. Glad someone else does, too. It's ridiculous how much money professional players make.

Anyway, Happy Veterans Day! I come from a long line of military, and I'm proud of it!

Thank you to everyone who has served and is serving - not just armed forces, but police and firefighters, too. Thank you to the spouses, children and families who have sacrificed so much to support their veteran. My husband has not been deployed yet, but I am still slowly learning all of the sacrifices that comes with this and they pretty much suck. Haha.

Pets and Natural Disasters

http://www.peoplepets.com/people/pets/gallery/0,,20645567,00.html#21237579

"LeeAnn Rivera and her seven children fled their Queens, N.Y., apartment, which was completely flooded by the disaster. Sadly, they had to leave their dog and three cats behind. ASPCA responders rescued the brood from the wreckage and brought them to the Queens College evacuation shelter where the family is now living."

This seriously pissed me off. First of all, if she had evacuated like she was told and planned ahead even a little, she wouldn't have left her animals stranded or in need of rescuing. Who knows what even happened to the cats? Second, domesticated animals entrust you with their lives. They are living, breathing creatures. Third, don't bring a life into your home that you are not willing to even consider in the event of an emergency. There were places set up all over the area in the path of this storm where you could take your pets before hand. All of NYC knew it was in the path. 

Steve and I have a plan. I grab Jasmine, he grabs the folder of our life. I am extremely grateful to have sprinklers in every room. In the event of a fire, with us home or not, my cat will not burn to death. She may be wet and pissed off at the end of the day, but she will be safe and alive.

Obviously, you can't plan for all natural disasters. But people need to have a plan for their pets with the ones you can plan for, such as Sandy.

Rant over.

Over sharing

Only a few people I know in real life (and none of them are family) read my blog. So I feel safe talking about the baby stuff here.

Do you find it weird to learn your friends/family are trying for a baby? I mean, there's just one way most people make a baby...

So I'm super uncomfortable with letting anyone know that we are now trying. Which makes me realize that the internet has turned people into over-sharers...

Not looking forward to...

comments... and Facebook when I get pregnant.

People annoy the crap out of me when they give unsolicited advice. And if a pregnant girl says something as simple as "I'm tired." Then here comes the "just wait" x 100 or "join the club."

Image from this Etsy shop

I will have a shirt just like that. It will also say, "I do not want your advice unless I ask for it."

And so, I'm thinking I may not announce to Facebook when I become pregnant. There might just suddenly be pictures of a newborn. Hahaha. Of course, I would announce to my blog as soon as both of our parents are made aware. :) 

Anyway, thoughts on Facebook and pregnancy? Thoughts on unsolicited advice?

Annetta

My husband and I are in different rooms, but within hearing distance.

All of a sudden I hear "Annetta"

"No." Is my immediate response.

We both knew he was throwing a baby name out there even though it's been a few weeks since we last talked about it. Haha.

"You don't like Annetta?"

"No. Where did that come from?"

"Assassin's Creed."

*face palm*

I Quit

I quit my job almost 2 weeks ago. The reasons in order of most important to least important:

Safety. If you look at a crime map, the area of my store was surrounded by assault, theft, breaking into cars, and a robbery now and then.
--- There was a pedophile in the store for about a week following a 14 year old boy. He once went to the bathroom to try to escape, and the man cornered and propositioned him. We did call the police, but the guy was gone when they arrived.
--- Creepy older santa looking dude only wanted female help, refused to be rung up by male workers and said very uncomfortable things. "Can I drink out of your shoe?" Not sure the exact wording but asking to go home with and/or to have the girl go home with him. And he was there every single morning Monday through Friday waiting by the doors 20 minutes before we opened (and when most employees arrived). I opened every day I worked except 3 or 4 times and I was always very uneasy waiting for someone to come open the door for me. After the first couple of times "helping" him, I learned that he would leave me alone if one of my male coworkers were near me and so if I saw him coming I would page a guy to come "help" me with something. Steve came to visit me for lunch once and I very deliberately walked in front of the guy, grabbed Steve's hand and cuddled up to him. The guy left me completely alone after that, but his presence still made me uncomfortable. And the way he licked his lips while talking to you... blech. I asked the manager if there was anything that could be done about him and all she said was "I'm supposed to be assessing his mental health, and that requires talking to him..." I get it. But the safety and ease of mind of your employees is more important!
--- The company is spending money on a security guard. I have never worked anywhere that required a security guard in the evenings for safety. He has to walk employees out after close. It certainly made me feel better the one night I closed, but the fact that we need one...
--- The management staff is new to the company. They are all great managers in general, but they don't really know what they are doing. Management asked me to teach them how to do things. I now believe it's important to promote from within. I strongly feel my previous store is the perfect standard for the company. The management is very particular about following ALL policies, rules and guidelines. They are all trained and ready for their next roles should a spot become available such as assistant manager to store manager, and store manager to district manager.
--- I'm OCD about some things. It took me 2 months to fix the children's department to what the company set for this store. It's all easily and readily available to anyone in the store, not just higher ups. Some of the changes I enforced were from summer 2011. It all just felt very chaotic and messy and I had plans to get other areas organized, but that's not going to happen now.
--- We got a puppy 3 days before I quit and I didn't realize how much work she would need. I didn't want her in the crate all the time either.
--- I feel like quitting my job will force me look into school and actually go to school. Working had become an excuse for me and Steve makes more than enough to support us.
--- I want to be a photographer and a stay at home mom. I just started the stay at home part early...
--- And finally, I freaking hate retail!

Doctor Appointment

Sorry it's been so long. I've been meaning to write this for awhile, but then I had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday and decided I would wait until after that. Well then I got sick and didn't have the energy to even sit here and type this.

This is your warning. The next paragraph will probably be TMI. Sorry. You may skip it and not miss anything. It's technical stuff for me to remember.

I've been on Depo Provera for 2.5 years. During the first 3 months I had 1 period and then the rest of the time I had slight spotting here and there. I had my last shot at the end of February so it was in effect until the end of May. I have not had my period since going off of it. I went to the doctor for my well woman check, but also to discuss this. She immediately tried to leave, and when I stopped her to talk to her, she had one foot out the door the entire time. Pissed me off. But she won't even do anything until it's been 6 months without a period (it's been 4 currently). At 6 months, she will put me on a birth control pill for 3-6 months and that is supposed to get things started again. And that is what I don't get. Why can't she put me on it now? I could wait another 3 months. I don't think I'll be able to get pregnant anytime soon because I'm not ovulating... but

We are going to stop trying to prevent a pregnancy next month. The methotrexate for my psoriasis will be out of my system for the full 3 months as of November 1st. So it would be safe for me to get pregnant.

And speaking of my psoriasis, my skin is doing pretty good without the medication, but my scalp has just exploded with it! It's driving me crazy! So I need to make an appointment with a dermatologist and maybe get another $400 bottle of shampoo. Yay for tricare! :)

Raja

Raja is gone. I'm super upset and relieved at the same time. I'll just say that she was a very sick puppy. 

And maybe we're not ready for a puppy and it just wasn't meant to be? 

Goodbye sweet Raja.

Emails

My blog is going private October 1st. Send me your emails on Facebook, or text it to me so you can continue reading my boring life. :)