Monday Love

I just love you and all that you are.

Monday Love

"Did you write that? That's beautiful!!!" I was slightly offended, but it was sweet haha.

The way you answered the door.

Monday Love

Thank you for taking care of me all day yesterday and a little this morning.

I haven't been this sick in a very long time and I really appreciate it. I love you.

Tuesday Love

You got me Peanut Butter Cup Perfection from Coldstone.

You did the laundry.

You were actively involved with my friends on Sunday.

Monday Love

I love you because you're already excited even though it's still another year off.

You don't want to do anything except spend time with me when you get home (which is this Saturday)! Hooray!

Hunting

Steve:    instead of a hand gun i want to look into a
             hunting rifle
             the mountains of north carolina have food
Me:       so do the grocery stores...

Monday Love

You love me soooooooo much. More than I feel I deserve. Thank you.

Monday Love

You trusted me to pick out a very expensive item.

Monday Love

I had an awesome weekend with you and I'm so proud of you.

I hate that you don't tell the truth to other people. You did NOT want her and her family there because of what happened and because you don't like them.

You ARE upset with her for not going and even more so now that they just made a big purchase. I'm sorry. I love you. I will always be there for you in your highest moments like this weekend, and your lowest.

Monday Love

If you have free time, and you see a payphone close by... you're on it... talking to me. I love that you're willing to give up time to relax or have fun to stand in line and take your turn to call me.

Monday Love

You wrote me a poem! <3 Thank you. :)

Bad Night

I had a bad night last night. I just really really miss him. I've been good for the last week or so, but last night was just bad. :(

I did get to see Alicia, and we saw The Avengers (awesome) but it was too loud to really talk when we ate, and you can't talk during a movie, of course. But hopefully we can do something else soon where we can actually converse. :)

And today is Saturday. So hopefully he'll be able to call me tonight.

Monday Love

I love you for trusting me with your deepest, darkest secrets. And for keeping mine.

Monday Love

Thank you for FINALLY taking care of the paycheck issue. Sorry you missed out on the obstacle course today.

You asked about Jasmine, too. I knew you loved her. =D

Monday Love

I just love hearing your voice. Even more so in the middle of my work day. :)

Unhealthy

Days that I'm off

I sleep til 10
Check facebook, blogs, etc,
Make sure my volume is still up on my phone
Go back to sleep
Maybe clean up the kitchen, or table, laundry if it's Sunday
Play Sudoku on my Nook while "watching TV"
Write
Sleep

Days that I work

Sleep til the last minute
Get ready for work
Go to work
Check my volume again
Play with my kitty
Check Facebook, blogs, etc
Watch TV
Write
Sleep

I don't want to do this. He doesn't want to do this last we spoke. So why are we forcing it? I keep thinking maybe we just need to get used it. Maybe it will be better next time. But I know it won't be. Then I think, maybe it's just because we're completely cut off from each other. If he leaves again for a TDY we can talk every night. If he leaves for a deployment, technology is better than it used to be and we should at least be able to talk more now even if it's through email. Neither of us know if we should wait it out, and or if we should try to get out of it now. I just wish we knew which path to go down, but we just don't know. We don't know if we're just being dumb, or if it means we need to try something else. I just don't know!

Monday Love

You're so open and honest with me and I love it! And you more for it. I miss you!

Miserable

Steve went through MEPS this morning around 6 and finished at 12:30. He flew out at 1:51PM Mountain Time, and arrived in Texas at 5:30 Central Time.

I miss him like crazy. I might just be the biggest baby in the world with how much I've been crying, but I really don't care. He's one of the few things I get emotional about. I love him with all of me and so it's really hard for me with him being gone. I hate when people say it could be worse. Well obviously it could ALWAYS be worse. Telling me that doesn't make the situation I am currently in any better. I realize how lucky I am that it's only 15 weeks this time around, and that I get to see him very briefly in the middle of it. But he's still gone. After 6 years of being together every night, he's freaking gone. And it's hard. And I don't care if it could be worse. I realize that. But I still miss him, and I'm still miserable right now.

Give me tips, give me advice, but don't tell me how lucky I am. I don't feel lucky right now.

Monday Love

You leave today. I'm very sad and heartbroken. But I'm also proud of you and I know you will do well. I really hope and wish that these next 8 1/2 weeks fly by for both of us. Once it's out of the way, I really think the 6 weeks of tech school will go even faster. Still, I wish you could stay home and I could fall asleep in your arms every night like I have for the last 6 years. I just love you and all that you are and I can't wait to see you again.

Baby talk

I've been on the birth control shot Depo Provera for about 2 years now. I have loved loved loved being on it! I haven't had a "time of the month" since I started it 2 years ago! It's been amazing! But I got my last shot in February. We're going to start trying to get pregnant in the Fall when we're settled wherever we go. This plan may change if we get sent overseas. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of having my child in another country, even if it is on a base.

While Steve is gone, I will be letting my body get back to its normal, natural state. I'm also on Methotrexate to manage my Psoriasis. I plan on stopping that in June. It's recommended you're off of it for 3 months before trying to get pregnant as it is known to cause birth defects. Which means I get to look like a freak until and throughout my pregnancy! Woo! <-- sarcasm.

I'm hoping I do get pregnant right away, but things never go my way so who knows. I really just wanted to document this and let our future child know when he/she started being planned. Of course, we've been thinking about this for about 6 months, but only seriously since December when we got a date for Steve to go to basic.

For the record, our child will be an only child. I'm already thinking about what to do after to prevent another pregnancy. There are a lot of options.

If it takes longer than 5 years, we're not having a child.

We already have a boy name picked, but I'm REALLY hoping for a girl.