Alone

I've been really bummed lately. I miss seeing certain people, if not on a daily basis, such as my family, then at least on a weekly basis, such as NB, SJ, and SH and so on.

NB is hosting another bookstore Christmas party this year even though we've been closed for almost a year now. I want to go. I miss them all. The more I think about it, the more I continue to think that moving here really was all a waste of time.

I need to start looking for a different job. Our sales are down at my current bookstore, and so I'm only getting two days a week. So is everyone else. I've been there for over a month now and just now made enough to cover half of our rent.

As disappointed in myself as I was for working at a "big box" department store, I made REALLY good money with REALLY good hours. I miss it. I miss my co-workers too. They were awesome... except my manager, but I rarely saw her, if at all.

I hate how much we are struggling here. Bill after unexpected bill seems to keep popping up, and we don't have any extra money to put aside to pay back my parents for helping us move here. I knew October would be tough, but I thought by November we'd be back on our feet a little. November is almost over though, and I'm seriously doubting us being able to afford paying rent in February.

On top of our financial problems, I'm just lonely, and it's getting me depressed. Steve is at work all morning and afternoon every day, and goes to bed around 8, so he's not really around either. I'm home alone all day other than the two days I work. One of those days is usually a Saturday when Steve is home. So really, there is only one day per week where I'm not left completely alone. I hate it. I should have tried harder to convince him to go back to South Dakota before we left for Virginia.