Saturday, March 13, 2010

I need help exercising

I've been trying over the last year or so to get an exercise routine going. It just isn't working. I have lost 30 pounds in the last 8 months just by eating smaller portions and healthier options. Yay me!

A couple nights ago, I decided to ask my husband to be my workout buddy. He usually runs and other stuff at work on his lunch hour because there is a gym. I decided I just can't do it by myself.

I need someone to push me when I'm feeling lazy, and I know I'll need to push him when he's being lazy. Yesterday, we went down to our apartment complex gym and used the machines there for about 30 minutes, then jumped in the pool for another 30-40 minutes. Today, I got on my own bike and did about a mile. I plan on doing another mile later in the day, as well as my strength training.

I know you shouldn't do the same exercises daily, so that is why I think switching days between cardio and strength will be alright. If you have any advice, please feel free!

Keep in mind that I have bad knees and I hope that if I get more weight off they will be fine again. They didn't have problems until I gained all this weight. So running is out of the question for now, as well as lunges, etc. I would love to become a runner in the future, but we'll see how things go.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Painting is a great, yet frustrating adventure

When I was 16, my parents owned their first house. Since I had just moved back to live with my dad, they let me paint my room. I chose light blue for the walls and light green for the trim and doors. It's not as bad as it sounds. It was cute and matched my comforter. Don't judge me. See the pictures below.

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That's my dad, and the only picture I have that also shows the green.

If it makes you feel better about my taste, my little sister's room was bright pink with a darker pink border (chair rail height). Just remember, I was a teenager.

Well, NB and I went to Lowe's yesterday to pick out paint to match her bed set. We took a pillow case with us, and matched about 8 different shades we thought would look nice, and she already had 4 picked out at the house. The pillow case was a slightly different color than the comforter though so we had to keep that in mind.

She was griping at me because I was supposed to help her narrow down her choices not create more haha. When we got back to her house (almost an hour later), the samples looked completely different in the natural light of the room. We ended up tossing out all but 3, until we put the sample papers on the wall next to the brown of the furniture. We narrowed it down to 1! Woo hoo!

She also had actual samples of paint for her dining room painted on the wall. She originally thought one color would look great until it was on the wall. It looked awful. We decided she should go with the lightest of the colors.

We plan on painting her dining room this coming Saturday. I'm kind of excited. I think it's fun! I can't wait to see the finished look! It'll be fabulously beautiful! I'll try to take pictures of the progress and finished product of course!

When I own my own house, I think I might just take all color variations within a color I want. It'll make it easier because I'll have the natural light of the room. You just can't trust the lights of the Lowe's or Home Depot.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Military wife? No, thanks.



I am terrified of Steve joining the military. He wants to join the Air Force, and from what I know... the Air Force is the safest. It's obviously not 100% safe, but it's better than the Marines or Army. Steve even wants to do the exact same thing that my dad has done for the last 25+ years and either my parents sheltered me, or my dad never really came close to being in life-threatening danger. He was outside Baghdad for about 6 months though. I'm really hoping they didn't shelter me because I honestly could have handled it.

The thing is, I am absolutely addicted to my husband. I can't stay mad at him for very long and I have to be in his arms daily. He's the same way, but for some reason he thinks we would be fine during his basic training and then the 8 or more months while he's training before he actually starts his job. I can't be with him during either of those times, and visits would be rare, I'm sure.

I am just so scared that it would be his fate to die in the military even though no one I know has died for that reason. The last few generations of my family have been in the military and they've all retired and lived long, happy lives. So I really don't know where my fear comes from. I know that my fear is irrational. I also know that if God wants Steve to leave this Earth at a certain point, then it is going to happen whether he's in the military or not. No one knows how long we have on this Earth so I think I would just rather spend as much time as I can with my husband should anything happen. I can't exactly do that if he's halfway across the world.

Mostly though, I need my daily fix and I don't know if I could deal with not getting it. I've talked to a lot of women who have a boyfriend/fiance/husband in one of the branches. They all says it's hard. They all tell me how much they worry. They all tell me it gets better if you find things to keep yourself distracted with hobbies and friends. I don't want to have to distract myself. I don't want my life with my husband to be hard. I don't want to have limited time with him before he gets sent off on yet another temp. duty. I want us to both go to college and get awesome jobs where the longest we could possibly be away from each other is like two weeks for some type of business trip. I can handle two weeks of one of us being in a separate part of the U.S. I doubt I can handle him being in the middle east. I can't just fly over there if something happened.

He really wants to join because he wants all the benefits for us. He loves the F-22 and wants to work with it. However, he's also an amazing artist. He also loves working on sets for plays and such. He could easily get a degree if he set his mind to it. He could even just get his act together and promote himself all over the internet. He's so freaking good that he designed a logo for a local business when he was 16 or 17. He's so good that my coworker asked him to make a design to put on shirts for a squad (or whatever it's called) of Navy guys. He could go places in life without being in the military. He doesn't want the student loan that comes with a degree though, which I understand, but I would rather have a loan than be alone for half of our marriage.

He's also a gamer. I think he would really enjoy making video games. He has a lot of great ideas, and he creates awesome looking monsters/aliens that could be the villain. Again, though, he'd have to go to school and get a student loan.

It's constantly up for debate with us. He needs to lose 20 lbs before he can join, so it's not like he could join tomorrow. Maybe I'll just keep feeding him fattening foods so he can't lose those 20 lbs no matter how much he runs. It could work. ;)

**Image from here: http://azuzephre.deviantart.com/

Friday, March 5, 2010

It's in your hand, smarty

Last night, I wasn't feeling very well so I went looking for chicken noodle soup. I looked through our canned stuff a couple times (and we don't keep much canned food). No chicken noodle. So I look in our other food cupboard even though I know there's nothing canned in it. Not there. I go back to the canned stuff and look one more time. No where to be found and I swear we still had some.

Annoyed, I give up and decide to eat a bagel instead. I set down the can in my hand and start to close the cupboard until I realize what I just set down. It was in my hand the whole time I was searching because it was the first one I grabbed and was in the way of looking at all the other cans.

My step-dad always says "if it was a snake, it would have bit you." Good thing it was just a can of food.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Jobless

I'm sure there are tons of posts about this... but I, too, am jobless and in case you haven't heard... it freaking sucks!!!

I enjoyed it for about two days. Then I was ready to get back to work. I've been sending my resume and applying at different places, but nothing has panned out. Not many people are hiring. It's very frustrating.

I lost my job because my store closed. My wonderful bookstore, that many people prefer over the only other in town, closed. :(

I just feel so lost without my job. I loved working there. Out of all the places I have worked, it was by far the best. The staff all got along, respected, trusted and loved each other. It was just a great place to be and work. Whenever I got mad enough at my husband (rare, but it happens) I would go to work just to chat with my girls. I wouldn't even bring up the fact that we were fighting, because just being there lifted my spirits and cleared my head.

I don't know if anyone else has ever felt that way about a job, but I hope so.

A few weeks before we closed, we were actually robbed. Someone snuck in our backroom and stole money out of some wallets. We have lockers, but we never used them because we didn't see any point. We trust each other. So purses and jackets were often just sitting on the counter. Our door has a bell that we can hear when the door is opened, and the store was normally quiet. During the last few weeks before we closed, it was super super busy. We often had a line half-way to the back of the store with both registers going because of our liquidation sale. We had 11 staff and normally there was 1 or 2 people working. During the last few weeks there was 5 or 6 of us at any given time. I think we all just got so used to the door opening and closing that we didn't even pay attention anymore.

The day it happened, I went to the back to get register tape or something and SJ was on the phone with another co-worker just chatting away. She comes out with me and starts looking for books she wants to get. An hour later, I go back to get my wallet so I could go get Subway for lunch. The hallway light was off. We never turn the lights off unless the store is closed. NEVER. It was off. I thought it was kind of weird, but I turned it back on and went about my business. I come back and I'm sitting there eating, and SJ comes back to get money to pay for her books and her money is gone. $300. She doesn't have a bank account because she keeps better track of her money without one. So this is all the money she has. She kind of freaks out and pulls our manager back, and we all start searching every where she could have dropped it or stashed it because she just had it the hour before.

The thing is... none of us suspected each other. That's how much we trust each other. We all checked our purses and wallets to check if anything else was taken. Another girl's wallet had been taken out of her purse, but the person must have gotten spooked because her money was still there. It's possible the person had hidden in our spare bathroom/storage when I came back. He/she must have heard the bell of the door, and left after I left for Subway.

I just hate people that steal. I hate people that are so lazy and irresponsible that they feel the need to steal from other people. I really hate the fact that he/she knew we would be losing our jobs in just a few short weeks and still decided to steal from us. Us. You steal from one, you steal from all. We're a family. We all pitched in a little and gave SJ some money, because bills don't go away just because you've been robbed.

We are all getting together on the 14th. Just to chat and catch up. I'm really looking forward to it! I've been spending a lot of time with my assistant manager (NB) and it's been great! I went to a party with two others a couple weeks ago. I just love them and I miss them. I think that's the worst part about losing my job. The second worst, I am bored out of my mind!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

In Defense of Online Dating

There seems to be a lot of negative views for online dating, so to those of you who feel that way, I hope to put it into perspective and make you think a few things over. I understand the danger, and even if you take all the precautions I think you should, the danger will still be there. It's not because of the internet that it's dangerous, it's because of the people involved.

Think about it... you meet a nice guy at Starbucks, a bookstore or anywhere. You could even date him for a while before he gets comfortable and turns into a complete psycho. By psycho I mean any or all of the following: possessive, controlling, abusive in any or all ways, a serial killer or simply the complete opposite of who he was pretending to be. There are plenty of women and even men who have experienced this, and long before computers were ever around, too. My point is that people can pretend to be whoever they want, on the internet or face to face. Just because you are face to face with the person doesn't mean they don't have a mask on or that you should just swallow what they say as truth.

Of course, there are those that are lying about everything from the very beginning. They could be married and just looking for a fling, whether or not you ever meet face to face. The thing is, people get involved, have a relationship and only after being confronted by the spouse do they even know they were living with a married man or woman. That just causes heart-ache all around. Online daters aren't cheaters. Cheaters are cheaters. Perverts are perverts. Liars are liars. Simply being online does not make you into any of these things.

I believe online dating to be a wonderful thing. It's great for people who are shy or socially awkward. It's good for people who are self-conscious, even if it's for a silly reason. It's good for people who have been unsuccessful in their own town/city/state and sometimes country. It just opens you up to more people.

I think that online dating builds the foundation for great communication skills if the relationship continues forward, and even in relationships already established. If you're not going to be meeting right away, all you have is communication. Whether it's chatting on a messenger, video chatting or talking on the phone. That's all you have. You can't read body language (well maybe with video chatting). There's not really any room for head games. You have to use your words to express yourself.

Can you fall in love without meeting face to face? Absolutely. You're getting to know this person, and personality still comes through. Once you do meet, you know who you're meeting. It's extremely hard to be away from the person you love. Ask any military personnel and their spouses. Ask business men and women who travel a lot. It's hard. It can be done though, so long as you have the patience and decide the person is worth it.

Keep in mind that not all online relationships have to be romantic. You can make all kinds of friends, even life-long best friends from all over the world. This is great if you have a hobby or just need a support network of people going through things you are going through.

Tips for being safe online:

  • Get pictures. Make sure it's an up to date picture by asking them to pose a certain way, or wear a certain hat.

  • Video chat. Seeing the person on the other side of that screen, shows that it really is them.

  • Talk on the phone.

  • Ask lots of questions, and be aware of self-contradictions

  • Be honest about yourself.

  • Don't rush into face-to-face contact.

  • Be suspicious of anyone who tries to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to.

  • If/when you do meet, have your first few meetings in a populated, public place and maybe bring a friend along.


If you're a parent reading this because you caught your teen online talking to/flirting with someone they don't know personally, talk to them about it. Be open-minded. Don't freak out. Listen to your teen. Ask to talk to the person if you think it's becoming too serious. Get to know the kid a little before you jump to conclusions and ban them from talking. Ask for proof of who they are, (Video chatting) I understand the need to protect your child from predators. There are decent webcams out there for $15. No excuses.

One last piece of advice for parents, and those in online relationships... trust your gut.