Major breakdown

Sorry for the lack of posts... I've been busy, and I haven't wanted to get online either.

This has been a bad week for me. I completely broke down on Thursday shortly before I needed to go to work. I had it pretty much together until I got there and someone asked if I was okay, and I lost it again. My boss pulled me into his office to talk to me. Took me five minutes before I could get a word out.

I'm pretty sure there is something seriously wrong with me. I don't know what it is though. I'm scared. I can't really afford to go to the doctor. I'm not sure what kind of tests they will want to run, but I know I can't afford it and we have no health insurance.

I have been looking into it, but I don't think we'll be able to afford it. With no extra spending at all, we make just enough to stay current on our bills and be able to get gas and eat more than just ramen. I'm still looking for another job or a different job. At the same time, I'm hoping I can get into a lead position when some of the girls go back to school next month.

I just don't know what to do. I know I need to see a doctor, but I don't want to get behind on a bill, especially a medical bill. I'm just so frustrated, lost, and scared. I'm also annoyed. I'm losing patience. Steve wants to be in the Air Force and yet he is being uber lazy, and not working to get there. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of his lack of motivation. I hate this waiting game.

On top of that, our apartment managers sent us our lease renewal of 14 months. Or a month to month for $150 more every month. It's ridiculous. And if we don't renew by Thursday, we have to pay to get our carpets cleaned because they're stupid. They never told us that you have to get your carpets cleaned before lease renewals. I'm really getting tired of these managers. They left out a lot of things, as well as fibbed about a lot of things like how well the heating works.

IF Steve gets his act together, gets in the Air Force and we have to move, that means breaking our lease and paying a large sum of money to break it! Ugh! I hate it! I'm sick of this place that we are in in our lives.Waiting games suck!