Days that I'm off
I sleep til 10
Check facebook, blogs, etc,
Make sure my volume is still up on my phone
Go back to sleep
Maybe clean up the kitchen, or table, laundry if it's Sunday
Play Sudoku on my Nook while "watching TV"
Write
Sleep
Days that I work
Sleep til the last minute
Get ready for work
Go to work
Check my volume again
Play with my kitty
Check Facebook, blogs, etc
Watch TV
Write
Sleep
I don't want to do this. He doesn't want to do this last we spoke. So why are we forcing it? I keep thinking maybe we just need to get used it. Maybe it will be better next time. But I know it won't be. Then I think, maybe it's just because we're completely cut off from each other. If he leaves again for a TDY we can talk every night. If he leaves for a deployment, technology is better than it used to be and we should at least be able to talk more now even if it's through email. Neither of us know if we should wait it out, and or if we should try to get out of it now. I just wish we knew which path to go down, but we just don't know. We don't know if we're just being dumb, or if it means we need to try something else. I just don't know!
Jess, this actually sounds about what I do. I don't know if me admitting that is helpful or not. I thought you should know that finding a balance _isn't_ easy for me either. It's just something to work through. Just like every other step in life. I think most of the problem comes from being used to having that other person in our lives, and when we're denied their presence we're not _used to_ relating to things by ourselves.
ReplyDeleteMaybe something to keep in mind
All you can do is the _best_ you can do. How can you do better than your best? If you're doing the best you can to work your way through, then that's perfect... for you.
Love you guys lots.
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. I know chris and I couldn't do it. We are the same way. You two will figure it out.
ReplyDelete