Irreconcilable Differences

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

-George Levinger

Many divorces state irreconcilable differences as the reason for their divorce. I'm not sure I understand how they got to that point, unless they rushed the marriage in Vegas or something. You should always ALWAYS discuss the big things with your partner before you get married - children, religion, money, politics, morals and values, and so on.

Divorce has never been an option for me. So I made sure that Steve and I were compatible. We're not 100% compatible, and we don't see eye to eye on everything, but we know how to compromise. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to be 100% compatible anyway, and if it is possible... how boring!

I like that we're different enough to keep things interesting. He always wants to try new things - food, places, etc. - and I almost never want to. He brings it out in me and I've discovered a lot of new things to like.

He's WAY laid back and chill about everything. I worry about everything. While I bring the realism out in him, he brings out the optimism in me.

Of course, there are some things that one of us has to cave completely. Him joining the Air Force is one. I don't want him to join. Period. But, it's what he wants to do and it will benefit our family in the long run. So I caved. When I have a child, I refuse to breast feed. His mother drilled it into him that there should be no other way. Well I disagree. It's my body. I have the say, and he's conceded to it.

So when it comes to major things like that, and we can't make a compromise, we weigh the pros and cons and come to a decision even if it takes months to make that decision.

I think a lot of the "irreconcilable differences" comes from stubbornness, and always being right, always being in control. Once stubbornness comes into play, trust and respect start to fall apart. If only those people could learn to let go and give in once in awhile.